a) must have an open mind on the subject matter
b) do not be defensive and do not make excuses
c) must have a positive attitude ( take the stand of the giver than the receiver)
d) must be willing to pay the price to keep relationship with spouse healthy

Opportunity cost – the cost of an alternative that must be forgone in order to pursue a certain action or in other words, the benefits you could have received by taking an alternative action.

N.B. TO LEARN AND NOT TO DO IS REALLY NOT TO LEARN: whatever you learn you must practice. (Parable of the Sower)

5 PRINCIPLES

Quality time is (1) – Giving Someone Your Undivided Attention/Focused Attention
a)
This is where opportunity cost come in. To spend time with your spouse you have to give something that is of value, something that can be painful to give up …..

b) you can’t be hitting two birds with one stone – spend time with spouse while doing something else. Don’t conserve time and energy when it comes to spending quality time with partner.

Quality time is (2) – Doing Things Together –

Activity is the vehicle that creates the sense of togetherness. Doing things together communicates that we care about each other, we enjoy being together, that we like doing things together.

One may sacrifice doing something that he/she may not like to please the other. Seeing your partner happy and satisfied is worth the sacrifice. You might learn to enjoy the activity as wellJ
Activity may involve sports, eating at a fancy restaurant, going on a picnic, walking by the beach or park etc.

Quality time includes (3) – Quality Conversation-

It involves sympathetic dialogue where two individuals are sharing their experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly and uninterrupted context.

Quality Conversation vs Words of Affirmation: Quality Conversation focuses on what you are hearing while Words of Affirmation focuses on what you are saying.

In quality conversation, you focus on drawing you spouse out, listening sympathetically (not judging whether he/she is right or wrong), ask question with genuine desire to understand his/her thoughts, feelings or hopes. You are not to make solutions to your espouses problems (unless he/she implies that you do) but to listen sympathetically to what he/she is saying.
What she needs is your understanding, that you are with her, that you understand her struggles, the stress and pressure he/she is going through.

Practical Tips on Developing the Art of Listening:
 Maintain eye contact – to keep you from wandering and communicates that you are listening and he/she has you full attention.
 Don’t listen and do something else
 Listen for feelings
 Observe body language
 Refuse to interrupt ( this may require patience and self control

Quality Time is (4) – require’s Self Revelation

To learn the language of “self revelation,” one needs to get in touch with his feelings. This may be very difficult for some because it can be interpreted as weakness. Remember though that emotions are neither good or bad. They are just psychological responses to the events in life in which we may base our decisions on which actions to take.

Minimum daily requirement: Talk about three things that happened to you on that day and how you feel about them.

Quality Time is (5) – Quality Activities:

It may include anything which one or both of you have an interest. The emphasis is not on “what you are doing” but on “why you are doing it.”

The purpose is to experience something together, to walk away from it feeleing “He/she cares about me.” “He is willing to do something with me that I enjoy and he did it with a positive attitude.”

One of the by-products of quality time is that they provide a “memory bank” from which they would draw in the years ahead.

CONCLUSION

One may ask, “Where do we find time for such activities, especially if both have vocations outside home?”

Answer: MAKE TIME just as we make time for lunch or dinner. Remember “Quality time is for Relationship just as Food is for Health.”

Covey said “Time Management” is a misnomer, the challenge is not to “Manage Time” but to “Manage Ourselves.”

5 A false witness will not go unpunished,
and whoever pours out lies will not go free.

OUCH!!

12 Haughtiness goes before destruction;
humility precedes honor.

10 The name of the Lord is a strong fortress;
the godly run to him and are safe.

I think the best way to improve a person’s worth in life is to learn and apply daily practical tips from proverbs. So I am dedicating the next 6 months of the year to the series I entitled ‘ A Proverbs a day keeps foolishness away”..

Heres for July 1.

“8 Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart.”

Wise words indeed. I wonder if people in the corporate ladder is using this principle to gain more power into the corporate politics.

Changes to the WIN MID July Schedule as of June 29, 2011.

This will continue every 3rd Saturday of the month up to Nov. 2011. The following are the LDP Min Coordinators schedule:

16 July – Lesson 1 Conflict Intervention
20 Aug – Lesson 2 Confronting A Brother
17 Sept – Lesson 3 Principles of Interpretation (Part 1)
15 Oct – Lesson 4 Principles of Interpretation (Part 2)
19 Nov – Lesson 5 Bible Study Methods

David with all his conquests and leadership in battle, we see him portrayed in a different light. In fact, I was stunned and perplexed at his antics. In 2 Samuel 18: 1-19, the author tells us that he wept for his fallen son Absalom. Absalom who is perhaps the most sinister and ruthless amongst his children.

Yet, if there is any takeway I have for today’s reading, it is this – clearly, no matter how sinister a man has sinnned against him, is able still to forgive the man (woman). Somehow this allusion displays how deep and how wide the love the Lord has for us!

Praise GOD!

Scripturally I found great delight in seeing line 71 in this Psalm. Somehow there is relevance to this line versus what the lesson I draw out from last night. Often, we have to learn our lessons the hard way.

‘If only I knew’, is the most common words that pops out of people’s heart whenever a tough lesson has been learnt the hard way. How can this mindset change? By soaking on GOD’s word daily. Again, easier said than done..

It is by God’s grace!

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65 Do good to your servant according to your word, LORD.
66 Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I trust your commands.
67 Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word.
68 You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees.
69 Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart.
70 Their hearts are callous and unfeeling, but I delight in your law.
71 It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn your decrees. 72 The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.

Yodh
73 Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands.
74 May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word.
75 I know, LORD, that your laws are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.
76 May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.
77 Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight.
78 May the arrogant be put to shame for wronging me without cause; but I will meditate on your precepts.
79 May those who fear you turn to me, those who understand your statutes.
80 May I wholeheartedly follow your decrees, that I may not be put to shame.